Wednesday, February 20, 2013

My New Normal

I went to Curves today after getting out of work early, and walked in to find that only one other woman works out on Wednesdays at 4:30.  She is 75 years old.  Her name is Delores.  She has a lot to say.  A LOT.  Mostly about the temperature of the facility, which, according to her, was unacceptable.  I forgot my iPod so I just listened politely while she finished her workout, which, thankfully, did not take long.  Halfway through my own workout, three other women came in.  They were all very nice.  We introduced ourselves and they all talked while I focused on my workout.  When I was done, one of the ladies asked if I wouldn't mind talking more the next time I came in, because they would all like to hear my stories, and I was a bit too quiet.  Um, what?  I guess it's not okay to come in and "just" workout.  You also have to be entertaining.  I mumbled something about being a quiet person and they all sort of laughed as if to say "That won't last long".  Who knows, maybe I'll find myself interacting more with these women eventually, but honestly,  I'm there to lose weight, not to socialize.  I know that probably makes me stand out even more, but I'm okay with that.

Josh and I had a talk today about how we think things would be different if we had a baby.  This came up after I talked to a few different friends with young children who basically said that we should cherish this time, because once we have kids, our marriage will go to crap.  It's not that I believe that, exactly.  I think Josh and I have an amazing relationship, better than most, actually, so I don't think that we will go from amazing to crap after having a baby. But I'm smart enough to know that our relationship will change.  There will be more stress, less sleep, and more to worry about.  I will probably complain that he works too much, and he will probably complain that I pay more attention to the baby than to him.  He will retreat to the gym more than I will want him to and I will be struggling to lose whatever weight I gain after working so hard to lose it the first time, which I know will be very tough.  But we will figure it out.  In the mean time, I'd really like some people to tell me that it doesn't have to get worse.  That having a baby can actually take our relationship from amazing to even more amazing.  Just one example would suffice.  Anyone?

Wednesday, February 13, 2013


Yesterday was my first official day as a Curves member.  Josh tried to wake me up at 7:00 am and, surprising even to me, I got up, got my stuff together, and was out the door by 7:15.  Josh dropped me off on his way to work so I was at the gym and ready to work out by 7:20.  Did I mention before that I'm not a morning person?  This, for me, was EPIC.  It was the absolute earliest I have ever worked out (or even been out of my house doing anything athletic-y) in my life.  I was in the same clothes I slept in the night before, no make up, hair in a messy ponytail.  There were five other women there when I arrived and two more who came while I was halfway through the circuit.  It was, well...interesting.  Let's just say that everyone in the room had either 30 years or 50 lbs on me, easy.  Most of the women spent the time talking about their kids and grandkids.  I listened to my ipod on shuffle and rediscovered some of my favorite songs while half listening to the conversations, smiling and nodding at people so they didn't think I was a total jerk.  I finished the circuit twice and checked my heart rate, and was shocked to see that it was at 100%.  I finished stretching and walked home.  It took me 7 minutes and was not bad at all.  I was a tiny bit sore when I got up this morning.  This might actually work!

I went again this morning.  Josh dropped me off at 7:20 on his way to work and I walked home.  The atmosphere was the same.  Older women talking about their kids and grandkids, marriages, vacations they hope to take, plans for Valentine's day.  I left my ipod on for the first time around the circuit but turned it off for the second time around and tried to interact a bit, again, so I didn't look like a jerk.  I told the lady who signed me up that I was going to try to come every morning.  Obviously I don't have the best track record with sticking to my goals, but hopefully I can come close.  I already feel better and can't wait to start seeing some results.  Every little bit of change is motivation to me.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

A New Beginning

My aunt is doing better.  She is walking with some assistance but is still in the hospital.  They want to release her soon but she will probably have a home-health nurse to help her out since my uncle is still in a back brace from his injuries.  They are very determined to get better.  I hope they do soon.

I finally got my test results back.  My cholesterol is still very high.  Well, actually, my HDL which is supposed to be high, is low, and my LDL which is supposed to be low, is high.  So, yeah.  I started taking fish oil supplements and cut out more processed food from my diet.  The only processed foods I really eat anymore are cereal and low fat, low calorie granola bars.  But, not anymore.  It will be oatmeal, fruit, or yogurt, or some combination of the three for breakfast from now on.  I am tired of taking meds, and I won't be able to take them when I'm pregnant anyway, so I HAVE to figure out how to do this on my own.

So, I finally went for my free trial at the gym down the street.  I told a friend of mine that I was embarrassed to tell him what the gym was called, and when I finally did, he did not understand by hesitation at all.  So, here it is.  I am going to start working out at Curves.  My problem with admitting that originally was because...well, there were a few problems, actually.  The first was that I have been an athlete my entire life.  I did competitive gymnastics, soccer, softball, basketball and track growing up.  I played soccer in college until the Graves' symptoms wouldn't allow me to anymore.  Even after I had the radioactive iodine treatment, I refused to do any type of exercise that wasn't competitive (hence, never taking to Yoga).  When I finally found cardio kickboxing, I felt like I was back where I belonged.  It was a great combination of athleticism and competition trying to keep up with everyone else in the gym. 

The other problem was my vision of Curves.  When I thought about it, to be honest, I pictured a bunch of lazy, older women who can't make it at a "normal" gym.  When I accepted the fact that Curves really was the best place for me at this time in my life, I was a little disappointed in myself.  But when I went for my free trial today, instead of disappointment, I felt proud of myself.  I was finally doing something instead of just talking about it.  I signed up for 12 months, knowing good and well that I might not make it that long, because that's been my history, but knowing that I have to at least try.  The workout is only as hard as you make it.  The machines work on resistance, so they work as hard as you do, and you can do the 10 minute circuit as many times as you want.  They track your progress every few weeks, it's a small gym, only women are allowed so I can roll out of bed and go in my pajamas and not feel self-conscious, and the best part is that it's only 30 seconds from my house.  We'll call this Day 1.